Christian-Parent.com

by Rachel Paxton

Next month I will be attending necessary training classes to become a foster parent. A couple of months ago I would never thought it would be possible. Everything has happened so fast.

My husband and I have been married for 16 years, and have five children, ages 24 to 2. Only three live at home, three boys ages 6, 6, and 2.

Tomorrow is my birthday, I can’t believe I’ll be 42! I’m definitely not getting any younger, but on the other hand I’m not quite ready to have my kids grow up quite yet. For the past 6 years I have been doing nothing but cleaning, cooking, and changing diapers, it seems!

You would think I would be ready to get all the behind me. In some ways I would be glad, but on the other hand I would also miss it. When we had our last baby, I knew that we wouldn’t have any more…mothers just know when they’re “done.”

So it came to a complete surprise to me that I would later want to become a foster parent. Probably about 6 months ago the Lord started bringing to my attention stories of babies and young children who needed foster parents. Not that I’d never heard it before, but all the sudden I couldn’t ignore it anymore. This was happening too close to home, and all around me. I couldn’t escape it.

And like my husband would go along with it…yeah right! After months of pondering and praying about what the Lord wanted me to do I brought it up with my husband. He didn’t come right out and say no…he didn’t really know what to say. I let him think about it for a couple of weeks and then started bringing up the subject up now and then just to see what he thought. Turns out he couldn’t ignore the stories either.

I read a great book called Another Place at the Table, by Kathy Harrison. Foster parenting is hard. It is heart breaking. It is life changing. It is not for everyone.

For years I have been praying that God show me how I can serve Him in ministry. I have tried serving in a number of different areas…youth group, women’s ministry, etc. I enjoyed those activities, but I feel that the Lord wants more from me…to push me beyond my limits to trust Him entirely and put my entire life into His hands.

As I have raised my children, I have realized how much I love children, and how much I love to nurture them and spend time with them. That is exactly what foster children need. According to Kathy Harrison, 90% of foster parenting is cooking, cleaning, washing clothes, and tucking kids into bed at night. I can do that. I know a lot of unpleasant things might come along with it, but someone needs to advocate for these children. They didn’t ask to be neglected or abused.

by Rachel Paxton

If you are new to foster parenting, or even thinking about becoming a foster parent, then I highly recommend the book Another Place at the Table by Kathy Harrison. I was really proud of myself…while searching for this book online I realized that they had a copy of it at our local library, so I reserved myself a copy and then read the whole book in two days.

And this from a mom who loves to read but hasn’t had time to sit down and read a book in more than six years! This book is truly hard to put down. It is a very fast read, but very important and worthwhile if you are thinking about foster parenting.

Kathy never intended on being a foster parent. Like myself, she was staying at home and raising three young boys. She and her husband lived out in the country and lived a very sheltered, happy life.

Then her husband was offered a job in “the city”. They couldn’t turn down the opportunity. Kathy ended up going to work at a Head Start program for at-risk four-year-old’s. There she mey “Angie”, who had been abandoned by her mother. “Could we take her in?” they asked themselves…that question quickly changed to “How could we not?”

At the time of the writing of the book (2003), Kathy and her husband had been foster parents for more than thirteen years, hosting almost a hundred children. Her story is very compelling, it will make you cry, make you angry at the things you have no control over, and will most certainly break your heart.

My husband and I have also came to the conclusion of “How could we not?” There are so many children out there who are being neglected and abused. Babies that are born addicted to drugs. Who is going to take care of those babies, hold those babies? Someone needs to. It is not for everyone, however, and that is why reading this book will give you a really good idea of what you are getting yourself into if you decide to become a foster parent.

Kathy and her husband are good people, but they are also very human, and that comes across very well in the book. Kathy is very honest about her successes and failures, and is not afraid to admit she is not always in a good mood or that she always acts as she wishes she would have in any given situation.

This book get a two thumbs up, in my opinion! Let me know if you know of any other good similar books to read.

by Rachel Paxton

If you are interested in becoming a foster parent, you can either sign up through a private agency, or through your state department of social and health services. For Washington State, you can find what you need to know here.

On their web site you can find who can be a foster parent (no, you don’t have to be married and you don’t have to be a stay-at-home mom), find out how to obtain a foster care license, and find out the training required to become a foster parent. The requirements may differ from state to state.

In Washington State, you are required to attend 27 hours of pre-service training, 8 hours of first aid/CPR, including bloodborne pathogens. This training is provided at no cost to you.

Anyone over the age of 16 who lives in your home must complete a background check with both the FBI and Washington State Patrol. You also have to have proof of having a tuberculosis test within the past year. You can have that test done at your local health department. At our health department the cost of the test is $30.00.

In addition, foster parents are required to complete 36 hours of additional ongoing training during each three year licensing period. All the initial training requires you to attend classes in person, but a lot of the ongoing training can be done online and by watching videos.

During the licensing process, a home inspection and fire inspection will be performed in your home.

It takes a minimum of several months to get your foster care license approved, and in some cases up to a year, so be prepared to “hurry up and wait” when you get all your requirements checked off. It takes time to get the inspections and background checks done.

I am very excited about the future and what is in store for 2012. Praying that I sail through the training part and get to move on quickly to the licensing part!