A Better Bedtime – Tips for Tired Parents
by Camille Bowen
One of the most common topics of discussion for parents is how their children sleep. I am often asked, “How long does your toddler sleep a night?” I am very thankful to reply that he sleeps about 11 hours a night with a two hour nap in the day time. The response is often, “You are so lucky!” Well, yes and no.
I do consider myself fortunate to have a fairly even-tempered, healthy boy, but I do not think it is all luck. Through study and observation, I have concluded that while some of it has to do with temperament, much has to do with structure. When Bridger was only a few months old, I struggled with his schedule and getting enough sleep. After doing some reading, and implementing some strategies, I noticed a dramatic change.
I do not claim that every night I spend is restful, or that I never feel tired. I also know that some suggestions work for some people, while others do not. Doing your own research and learning to know your own child are both vitally important to success. But here are a few ideas to help you on your journey to a good nights sleep for everyone.
The most important part of having a good bedtime experience, I feel, is routine. Your child must know what to expect. Your bedtime ritual need not be lengthy, and it is up to you how to structure it. But it should be a special series of actions that only occurs at bedtime. Bridger’s bedtime routine is brush teeth, read a story, say prayers, and then put to bed with music. Some nights we may sing a song, or read two stories, but the routine remains the same.
A key factor in the success of the routine is the time. The routine should take place at roughly the same time every night. This is not always possible, of course, but it helps tremendously when establishing a positive bedtime experience. When you are first establishing a routine, be prepared for resistance! Being vigilant about timing and structure will help in the transition process.
A final note on routine is to stick to it! If you are only half-hearted about executing the routine, your child will not make up the difference. Keep in mind what you are working for. Be firm, but also mindful of the needs of your child. No one likes to hear their child cry for a long time, but you may have to at least once in order to break the cycle that exists.
Establishing a good bedtime ritual helps you and your child get better sleep, but there will still be some nights where the child is sick, or growing, or had too much excitement that day. Sometimes your routine or bedtime may need to be adjusted. Just find a pattern that works for you and let it grow with your child and his needs and your needs may change.
Some things to consider if your child is still having a hard time getting to sleep. Is your child getting enough to eat and drink? Is your child sleep deprived, or not getting enough naps during the day? (A sleep deprived child will not sleep as well as a child who gets enough sleep) Are there too many distractions? (TV, radio, loud family members) Is your child’s room too hot or too cold? Could there be a physical cause? (Ear infection, difficulty breathing, etc.) Is your child less than three weeks old?
Once a child reaches about three weeks old, you can start creating structure, though this early sleeping through the night means five or six hours rather than 10-12. It is never too late to establish a bed time for your child. You will both be grateful you did.
Reprinted with permission.
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