The Road to Foster Parenting
Next month I will be attending necessary training classes to become a foster parent. A couple of months ago I would never thought it would be possible. Everything has happened so fast.
My husband and I have been married for 16 years, and have five children, ages 24 to 2. Only three live at home, three boys ages 6, 6, and 2.
Tomorrow is my birthday, I can’t believe I’ll be 42! I’m definitely not getting any younger, but on the other hand I’m not quite ready to have my kids grow up quite yet. For the past 6 years I have been doing nothing but cleaning, cooking, and changing diapers, it seems!
You would think I would be ready to get all the behind me. In some ways I would be glad, but on the other hand I would also miss it. When we had our last baby, I knew that we wouldn’t have any more…mothers just know when they’re “done.”
So it came to a complete surprise to me that I would later want to become a foster parent. Probably about 6 months ago the Lord started bringing to my attention stories of babies and young children who needed foster parents. Not that I’d never heard it before, but all the sudden I couldn’t ignore it anymore. This was happening too close to home, and all around me. I couldn’t escape it.
And like my husband would go along with it…yeah right! After months of pondering and praying about what the Lord wanted me to do I brought it up with my husband. He didn’t come right out and say no…he didn’t really know what to say. I let him think about it for a couple of weeks and then started bringing up the subject up now and then just to see what he thought. Turns out he couldn’t ignore the stories either.
I read a great book called Another Place at the Table
For years I have been praying that God show me how I can serve Him in ministry. I have tried serving in a number of different areas…youth group, women’s ministry, etc. I enjoyed those activities, but I feel that the Lord wants more from me…to push me beyond my limits to trust Him entirely and put my entire life into His hands.
As I have raised my children, I have realized how much I love children, and how much I love to nurture them and spend time with them. That is exactly what foster children need. According to Kathy Harrison, 90% of foster parenting is cooking, cleaning, washing clothes, and tucking kids into bed at night. I can do that. I know a lot of unpleasant things might come along with it, but someone needs to advocate for these children. They didn’t ask to be neglected or abused.
I admire your dedication to children, but just know that you may end up fostering a child who was never abused. I work as an advocate for families and children, and false allegations of abuse are frequently reported by arrogant doctors and school officials in retaliation to a parent who was simply advocating for the rights of their child. In such cases, the child will spend a minimum of a year in foster care due to the expensive and bureaucratic process of getting them back. Legal kidnapping by child protective services is big business for States, who receive federal dollars for placing children in foster care. The families cannot sue after they get their children back, because the system is immune from such law suits. I’m not suggesting you abandon the idea — just don’t go in with your eyes closed!