How to get a Real Answer to "How was your Day?"
by Kimberly Chastain, MS, LMFT
Description: Tips for opening up the lines of communication with your children so they will tell you about their day.
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Do you have a daily routine that goes something like this at your
house? You ask your children, spouse, friend, etc. "How was your day?" Then,
do you either get a grunt in return, a fine or whatever? Maybe ever
once in a blue moon you will get a rather long and involved answer.
Sometimes when we ask co-workers that question we truly want to know the
answer, but sometimes we really don't. Often, the How was your day comment
is just a pleasantry.
I have a new question for you that will open up the lines of
communication and get to the heart of what is going on in your children's lives,
spouse's life, friend's lives, co-workers lives, etc. I cannot take the
credit for this question. The Children's Director at our church shared
this with me and it has been very helpful. Are you ready for the
question? How can I be pray for you? When you read that question what did you
think? You have to stop and think for a minute and almost catch your
breath. This question gets to the heart of what is going on with your
children, the big and the little. I try from time to time to ask my
children this question at bedtime and I get some amazing answers. Often,
about things that are going on that I did not know about. One time the
answer was, pray that I get one of the big lockers and not one of the small
ones. Another is praying that my friends and I won't fight on the
playground. Often the answers can be to pray for their friends and t!
heir situations.
The beauty of this question is it often takes the focus off the trivial
stuff and what is really important in your child's life. Lockers can be
a big deal when you are in middle school and busy parents cannot always
hear or see that issue. Your children will also feel special knowing
that their Mom is praying for them on a specific issue.
This would be a great question for an unsaved co-worker. I had a client
call me who I had not seen for sometime. She asked me to pray for her,
due to having breast cancer. She said I knew you prayed so I decided to
call you. When you see someone having a hard time, you can ask, "How
can I pray for you?" How soothing and caring.
So, give it a try today with your children, spouse, friends, and
co-workers. You will get some answers you did not quite expect. You can also
develop a deeper relationship with the person you have asked. How can I
pray for you today?
Kimberly Chastain, MS, LMFT is the Christian Working Mom Coach and a
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She was recently featured in the
book the Myth of the Perfect Mother. She is the author of “Help My
Preteen/Teenager is Driving Me Nuts!!!” To purchase a copy of this e-book
please visit http://www.kimberlychastain.com/parenting. To schedule a free,
initial coaching session send an email to free@kimberlychastain.com or
visit http://www.christianworkingmom.com.
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